and in our own humanness i think we take our heart and polish it up the absolute best that we can before bringing it to God, as if he doesn’t see right through it. there have been decisions made to where after it was all said and done i was sprinting around the room trying to put everything in it’s right place and frantically dusting off every frame on my wall. panicking to ensure it was without flaw, i would stand in front of the door with God directly on the other side. and after triple checking that my heart was in line and everything was in the right place, i would then slowly unlock the door to let Him in.
but what i have learned is that we never have to convince God that our motives are pure. He’s wiser than that. we never have to tidy up before opening the door to Him – in fact, i am learning to leave the door wide open. we never have to be concerned about something not working or something not going how we planned. because if we are relying on our hands that means we standing on our own skillset instead of waiting on His timing with His hands.
we do not have to clean up to show that we can be trusted. because He’s the kind of God who comes in – and begins to pull back out all the mess we pushed in. then sits down with us to say, ‘that was thoughtful, but let’s now go through this together.’
and it was then that i walked with Him through the different habits, the people, the relationships, all of it. and rather than my human hands picking up the wrong one – He picked up the ones to be thrown away (the no’s), the ones to be dusted off (the yes’s), and the ones to be placed on the shelf (the not right now’s). and so i sit here tonight in a gaze at this shelf, at this dustpan, and even at this trashcan.
and i am certain that what it is, is good. because He is good.