Wholeness Only Existed in a Tipsy Mindset

We can dig through every drawer in our soul to give our greatest opinion based off our experiences. We can clear every bookshelf in the store to fill our minds with the deepest knowledge. We can meet with the world’s largest influencers and ask every right question to pick their brain. But at the end of the day, all of this is just human words. And our human words are exactly just that. Our human words are merely human words. And when one day each of our lives come to an end on this gift we call Earth — our words will, too.

Do our human words in advice comfort our hearts? Absolutely. Can our human words in direction guide our steps? Absolutely. Do our human words in affirmation help our weaknesses? Absolutely. Do our human words sustain our souls?

I know, I know. “sustain our souls” sounds super religious and churchy but stick with me. If you’re reading this then you still have a heartbeat therefore you still have an ingrained desire to make it. Regardless of what life has thrown at us and what our eyes have seen there is something inside of our souls that crave to make it through. Every human heart has a pinch of survivor in it.

We want real friendships that won’t break trust and that will last. We want real relationships that won’t break hearts and that will last. We want real success in our careers that will last. We want real passions and real healing. Even the people who we see with two-faces, deep inside they just want something real and lasting, too. We all want something sustainable.

Listen, Hope… what does sustainable even mean? Perffffect, so happy you asked. I’ll tell ya.

Sustain:

Strengthen or support physically or mentally

Bear the weight of something without breaking or falling

Uphold, affirm, or confirm the justice or validity of

We all want something sustainable. I do. And I trust that you do, too.

There once was a time in my life where I would tuck away any emotion that came my way and I would shove it under my bed where all my other junk camped out. With decisions I had made myself and circumstances where I lost my grip at the wheel, I ended up experiencing more than what I should have at a defining age in life. Resulting in a timid young girl wandering around with shaky knees frightened at the thought of unfamiliar people. Very unsustainable. I didn’t know the first thing about confidence and I believed acceptance was just a counterfeit pep rally. The first sense of love I experienced was fooled and shattering. Very unsustainable. Where physical touch was simply a cover up to deceit, and love was something that bruised you.

There once was a time in my life where every step hurt. I walked around with knives in my back from past friends, unknowing that I was the one who had to build up the strength to remove them. Because in life, we have to learn to forgive an apology we may never receive. I remember the mornings where I could get myself out of bed, and I would clothe myself in the unhanded truth that who I am is who I’m with. The days I went to school, people frightened me. I got along with whoever I wanted because I would conform myself into their status. But the feeble truth is that I was unendingly exhausted. Trying on new characteristics a thousand times a day and having your heart race every time someone speaks to you because words are something your lips are not allies with. Drowning. Very unsustainable.

There once was a time in my life where I became confident that I was always going to be how I was. Confident and head strong in the fact that wholeness only existed in a tipsy mindset with a shaky substance. Confident that I was confident in my mess. Very unsustainable

But over these years. Oh, over these years I have learned.

For the one who feels like your feet can never find solid ground to stand on..

For the one who is tip toeing through their existence because no one sees you anyways.. 

For the one who everyone always thought was whack because you’ve always had dreams bigger than yourself..

For the one who blinks really fast and starts to tremble at the thought of success..

For the one who thinks they’ll feel like this forever.. 

Me too. I know un-sustainability as my closest old friend.

Do our human words in advice comfort our hearts? Absolutely. Can our human words in direction guide our steps? Absolutely. Do our human words in affirmation help our weaknesses? Absolutely. Do our human words sustain our souls?

16 Your words are what sustain me; they are food to my hungry soul. They bring joy to my sorrowing heart and delight me. How proud I am to bear your name, O Lord.

Jeremiah 15:16-18  (TLB)

I am the biggest advocate for our words and using them for good. But our human words never healed our human heart. Human practicality never rested my soul or gave me hope. Human input never set my feet free. Did they help? Sure thing. But it was when I pushed my pride aside and when I silenced the words that would die one day, too. It was then when I found something lasting. Something that actually made a difference. Something that intertwined my heart with peace. Something that whispered to my soul that it was going to make it.

We all want something sustainable. I do. And I trust that you do, too. We won’t find sustainability from each other frail words. We’ll find it in His word. I don’t know as many things as I wish I did, but I know this one.

You aren’t in this by yourself, even though we all try to hide sometimes and seep into the conformity of what’s easy. If all you’ve ever known is failure, that’s great. That’s all I knew too, but then I got to know a God who only knew success. And he taught me all about it. Especially in the times where I literally tripped over myself trying to run away, He was there painting a picture of what was ahead. And it got me every time. And He’s doing that for you too. We gotta keep moving. Right step, wrong step, just take a step. I mean let’s be wise about it, but let’s not be stagnant. You’re allowed to take back a step if you see it’s not the right one. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. But you are not allowed to sit in refusal of at least trying. When everything is going great, you keep walking. When everything is falling to pieces, you keep moving. Let’s seek what His word says about it. We’re all in this together, and we gotta keep moving forward together. You don’t always have to get it right, fall on your face a few times. Let’s just always be trying. Let’s be seeking what He says over what they’re saying.

Advice is great. But truth is what we’re in need of. 

And you know the sweetest gift? We have a God who’s waiting with a big ole smile for us to simply just give him a nod for Him to speak.

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