“Not Having Anyone Here For Me.”

“Everyone is looking out for themselves or trying to make it. It can make life lonely and difficult.”

You ever felt like that? Me, too. Maybe we aren’t so lonely as we feel we are sometimes.

A while back I asked the question, “What is the hardest part of being a High Schooler/Young Adult?” on my Instagram story and I let anyone respond. I clarified that regardless if someone was a believer or not, I was very interested in hearing their response, because every answer matters.

Here’s a few that people sent in:
“Not knowing what to do in the future and feeling the pressure from everyone around you”

“Finding consistent community”

“Being single in such a sexual society where living pure is almost made fun of”

“Finding yourself”

“Not having anyone here for me.”

“Friends, mean girls, boys”

Sheesh. I sit in a stare at just these few answers because they are so raw and honest. These answers are not made up and they are not answers that were sent as a jab towards any particular person. These answers are from real people who are encountering real experiences inside of their real lives.

“Not knowing what to do in the future and feeling the pressure from everyone around you”

If no one has ever told you, let me tell you that it is okay if you don’t know what to do with your life right now. And let me tell you that it is okay if you don’t want your life to mirror the life your parents had. This is your life. You get one of them. When we really get down to the bottom of it, this pressure from everyone and everything is irrelevant. If you don’t know what to do in the future then wait and tap into things you may be passionate about. There is no rush and and the only timeline there is saying we have to be something at a specific age is the timeline we create in our minds. The timeline does not exist. Wait until you discover what you are passionate about and how you can walk in that. Don’t rush into something where your passions are compromised just because someone is breathing down your back telling you time is running out.

“Finding consistent community”

Ugh. Friend. I get this. I really do. There is no fluffy and sunny answer to this. Finding community can be a real pain in the butt and can make you feel defeated like it’s nobody’s business. It’s like we meet someone or meet a group of friends and they seem incredible and in our heads the lights go crazy and the music starts playing like, “Hallelujah we made it!!” only to quickly find out they talk behind our back or something stupid like that. Healthy community is hard to find, I’ll admit it. And as tough and scary as it can be, we have to keep putting our foot out there to keep trying. Because it is out there. If we can’t find healthy community as quickly as we’d like, let’s start by being healthy community and see who joins in.

“Being single in such a sexual society where living pure is almost made fun of”

Your future spouse is going to admire your purity. You are going to thank yourself for your purity. And the Lord is going to honor your purity. Purity doesn’t mean you have never had sex or you have never dropped the ball. We all have our own stories and our own mistakes. But purity is something we can choose to hold onto from any point and carry it until our wedding night.

Choosing to value your purity means saying no to things that will compromise your purity. And honestly, yes, it’s extremely hard sometimes to tell the hot girl/guy that you can’t go out with them or that you are not going over to their house. Sometimes, you will get walked out on when you choose to value your purity. You will feel left out when you choose to value your purity. You will feel like it’s pointless to value your purity. But it’s worth it. You’re worth it. Your future spouse is worth it. The Lord doesn’t have us save ourselves to harm us. He’s not that kind of God. He has us save ourselves because he knows better than we do. When we care about where we are going we care about what we are doing. When we know what we value, we care about who and what may hinder that. If people want to laugh, let them. And watch the Lord blow you away with what He does in your life.

“Finding yourself”

Though navigating through life trying to find who you really are is hard, it is multitudinously the most exciting part of life, too. We get to discover who we are. We get to search through life and determine what we actually enjoy. Not what everyone else likes, not who everyone else is, not what everything else says we should like — but we get to determine who we are. And we get the full permission to live that out in it’s entirety. Life is hard sometimes. Let’s use the hurts to draw out more of who we are. Life is great sometimes. Let’s use the joys to draw out more of who we are. Let’s try new things, let’s meet new people, let’s go unfamiliar places and let’s see what widens our eyes and fills our hearts. Let’s discover who WE are as individuals.

“Not having anyone here for me.”

If you’re reading this, I love you. I know this feeling hurts. And maybe this feeling is actually your reality at the moment. I know that feeling, too. Everyone views God differently. Some people know God as God. Some people know God as Savior. Some people know God as teacher. It goes on and on. I learned to know God as friend. Because I didn’t have any for a long time. And I don’t ever want to give a cop out answer for a gateway to Christianity to talk about Jesus. But what I write and what I talk about it because I mean it. When you feel like you’re alone, He’s there. And sometimes, I really feel as if the Lord will allow us to be alone just for the sole purpose of drawing us near to Him.

If I can say anything, it’s that you won’t always feel this way. Use this time to get close to God and learn His heart. He’ll show you. And the peculiar thing about this all is the seasons when you feel alone and you draw close to Him — you learn more than you ever would have if you were around a group of people. Trust Him.

“Friends, mean girls, boys”

Sometimes, people suck. Why? Because we’re human. And as a young adult or high schooler this is a really REAL thing. It seems like friends are impossible. It seems like girls are all Regina George. And it seems like boys are the friggin devil.

Don’t stress over friends who aren’t good for you. Don’t trip over your feet because someone insecure mean girl made you feel bad. Don’t let some boy make you second guess your value as a woman. You are you. Be exactly that. People will walk out, let them. It’s making room for the right people. Girls can be mean. Let them be. When they step into the real world they will have their own reality check. Boys can be complicated. I feel like I could write a book on just this one, but nonetheless, don’t let them walk over you.

Being a High Schooler and Young Adult is hard. It’s different than how it was twenty years ago. We have social media. Seems like not a big deal, but you know, it matters. Don’t get too caught up in it. Be present in the moment. Invest in the healthy friendships around you. Figure out what you enjoy and not what people tell you to enjoy. Focus on your dreams and discipline yourself to take necessary steps towards them. We are all human. Humans are flawed. Don’t let a flawed humans snarky opinion put you down.

You are you. You are going to make it. You are going to reach your dreams. You are going to meet your person. You are going to thank yourself for valuing yourself. You got this, friend. I believe in you.

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